"what if i fuck it all up?"
asa's voice is quiet, though it doesn't need to be. the apartment is quiet because it's all his, a space of his own that he still can't seem to fill with life. it seems especially lonely now, on his ratty couch in dublin, a continent away from his family and friends, staring at the waterspots on his ceiling.
"when in the world have you ever fucked up in anything?" ben's voice is full of laughter and there's the sounds of a party behind him. he doesn't seem annoyed that asa has called him while he's trying to have a good time, but ben has never minded any of asa's quirks and insecurities - and thankfully for asa that trait seemed to have extended past high school, asa on his quest to become an actor and ben trying his best to get through ucla in one piece with a degree to his name. "you're the only person i know that's always had his shit together, even though you're fucking weird sometimes. if anyone's gonna rock the shit out of playing a tranny, it'd be you."
asa snorts. "thanks for the vote of confidence."
"no prob, you know i'm always right. okay, now stop being depressed and insecure, i see a hottie i need to talk to immediately."
"small and blonde?"
"small and blonde, and i swear to god i can see his ass jiggling from here. wish me luck."
"good luck, please don't let him tap it before he wraps it." ben laughs in his ear, a familiar loud cackle, and he doesn't say goodbye before he hands up. asa lets the phone drop to his chest, and he's still alone in his apartment, still staring at the waterspots on the ceiling, but it doesn't seem quite so dreary anymore.
asa's voice is quiet, though it doesn't need to be. the apartment is quiet because it's all his, a space of his own that he still can't seem to fill with life. it seems especially lonely now, on his ratty couch in dublin, a continent away from his family and friends, staring at the waterspots on his ceiling.
"when in the world have you ever fucked up in anything?" ben's voice is full of laughter and there's the sounds of a party behind him. he doesn't seem annoyed that asa has called him while he's trying to have a good time, but ben has never minded any of asa's quirks and insecurities - and thankfully for asa that trait seemed to have extended past high school, asa on his quest to become an actor and ben trying his best to get through ucla in one piece with a degree to his name. "you're the only person i know that's always had his shit together, even though you're fucking weird sometimes. if anyone's gonna rock the shit out of playing a tranny, it'd be you."
asa snorts. "thanks for the vote of confidence."
"no prob, you know i'm always right. okay, now stop being depressed and insecure, i see a hottie i need to talk to immediately."
"small and blonde?"
"small and blonde, and i swear to god i can see his ass jiggling from here. wish me luck."
"good luck, please don't let him tap it before he wraps it." ben laughs in his ear, a familiar loud cackle, and he doesn't say goodbye before he hands up. asa lets the phone drop to his chest, and he's still alone in his apartment, still staring at the waterspots on the ceiling, but it doesn't seem quite so dreary anymore.
"what if i fuck it all up?"
asa's voice is louder than it needs to be, as he sticks his head into the fridge - literally, he can fit his entire head in the new one he'd had delivered a few weeks ago - as he searches for the leftover chinese he knows he shoved in there last night.
"jesus christ dude, it's literally four hours with a child that can't even talk back to you. you love kids. you won't fucking shut up about them. i'm pretty fucking sure that you'll survive four hours without killing my kid." ben's definitely giggling through his words, both from being amused at asa's panic and the murmur of his husband's voice in the background. asa is 99.99% sure that jason is saying something absolutely filthy and demeaning about asa's character, which never fails to make even him laugh, because jason looks something like a botticelli angel with his blonde curls and blue eyes.
"but it's your kid, ben. what if i lose him? what if i drop him? oh my god what if i sit on him?" asa is temporarily deafened by the boom of laughter that bursts from the phone (ben had put him on speakerphone, damnit) and he glares at the fridge shelves before he closes the door and waits for the laughter to die down. "yeah yeah, laugh it up."
"sorry, sorry." ben actually manages to sound a little contrite. "but really, dude, chill out. you're the only person i know that's always had his shit together, even though you're fucking weird sometimes. if anyone's gonna rock the shit out of watching my baby, it's you."
asa snorts. "thanks for the vote of confidence."
"no prob, you know i'm always right. okay, now stop being stressed and insecure, we'll drop leland by in about an hour."
"with extra diapers and formula?"
"with extra diapers and formula. see you soon." ben hangs up without saying goodbye, as always. asa breathes deep before he gives up on finding food in favor of going through his house, again, to make sure it's baby-proofed.
asa's voice is louder than it needs to be, as he sticks his head into the fridge - literally, he can fit his entire head in the new one he'd had delivered a few weeks ago - as he searches for the leftover chinese he knows he shoved in there last night.
"jesus christ dude, it's literally four hours with a child that can't even talk back to you. you love kids. you won't fucking shut up about them. i'm pretty fucking sure that you'll survive four hours without killing my kid." ben's definitely giggling through his words, both from being amused at asa's panic and the murmur of his husband's voice in the background. asa is 99.99% sure that jason is saying something absolutely filthy and demeaning about asa's character, which never fails to make even him laugh, because jason looks something like a botticelli angel with his blonde curls and blue eyes.
"but it's your kid, ben. what if i lose him? what if i drop him? oh my god what if i sit on him?" asa is temporarily deafened by the boom of laughter that bursts from the phone (ben had put him on speakerphone, damnit) and he glares at the fridge shelves before he closes the door and waits for the laughter to die down. "yeah yeah, laugh it up."
"sorry, sorry." ben actually manages to sound a little contrite. "but really, dude, chill out. you're the only person i know that's always had his shit together, even though you're fucking weird sometimes. if anyone's gonna rock the shit out of watching my baby, it's you."
asa snorts. "thanks for the vote of confidence."
"no prob, you know i'm always right. okay, now stop being stressed and insecure, we'll drop leland by in about an hour."
"with extra diapers and formula?"
"with extra diapers and formula. see you soon." ben hangs up without saying goodbye, as always. asa breathes deep before he gives up on finding food in favor of going through his house, again, to make sure it's baby-proofed.